Values: connection & disconnection

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For what you value, you must sacrifice.

I’ve made changes in my values in the past six months. Due to this decision I begin to experience the price, and the sacrifice in my social life: the feeling of value with some people have begun to feel less meaningful and less valuable.

I’ve found different meaning and it’s no longer in the same direction.

Decision have to be made.

Values are meaningful. Shared values help us to work toward common goal.

If perception to the previously shared values changes, then the relationship changes as well.

What I thought was very positive change for me, has caused quite a bit of suffering. Is a positive change then a desirable? Is this temporary pain worth it?

I’ve comforted myself with the thought that nothing great is born without pain.

Besides I’ve chosen to update my values because I want something better. Yet in so called short term this feels surprisingly painful.

Long term or short term perspective?

Even from pain one seeks relief. At least hope. Is there hope?

Higher levels values, create higher level order.

Lower level values create chaos.

So by embracing and determining my values again, I’ve set out to feel the suffering now in order to create something greater. Example of great people have shown that the higher level values might not even be appreciated by the present state society. Only the future generation may grow to that level of maturity to appreciate.

About such greatness I do not know nothing. All I know, that I hope I must find and to create order I must continue.


Thank you for reading!

For greater context I can recommend Jordan B. Petersons 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote Against Chaos –book. It’s a book that I’ve read three times now in the past five months. I’ve found several ideas from that book to put in the practice and I believe I continue to discover so.

Now lately I feel like I want to connect with as many people as possible, globally so therefore I’ve chosen to continue my blog in English.

Janne

Learn the Inner Joy

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Joy is not very permanent thing as is not happiness either. Actually closest thing to a permanent it’s when we accept our fate and learn to be happy with it.

From my past suffering I’ve learned not to escape the present suffering. Often I still do wrong decisions that actually cause more suffering. Best response towards the present suffering is to accept it and learn to love the fate. Amor fati.

So with this in mind, if I do not feel joy it’s sign for me to still work on myself. Solution is not to seek joy from other people, or substances. What I’ve found is that mostly takes some rest, quiet meditation and clarification of priorities.

Nature of suffering arises something that we did or didn’t do and then we start to feel helpless. However, once we regain the sense of control and are able to do something the joy starts to come back.

Start from the inner joy. Drink only to celebration so to speak. Strengthen that which is right with the world focus less on everything else.

What We Focus on, Grows Stronger

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Focus is magic, for that which we focus on grows stronger.

I.e. if you focus on value, you are more likely to create some value as well.

If you focus to the irrelevant, then you are likely to be a distracting force around others.

Conscious focus is powerful human ability. Ability to consciously learn to focus habitually and effortlessly makes us exponentially more powerful.

In his book Focus Daniel Goleman writes “our own inner voices are our biggest distraction.”

If our ability to focus determines what we can achieve in life, we seem to be our own worst enemies. It’s a bit similar thought to Ryan Holiday’s “ego is the enemy, every step of the way.”

Amplification of that which we focus is strange, wonderful and powerful. It’s our choice how that power will serve us and it’s our responsibility.

Personally I’ve found both great suffering and great joy from focus. It’s our habit of relating with our environment that directs our focus. Often I’ve found that I am in environment that does not support optimal focus.

In human constructed environments there are often other interests than my true long term wellbeing. Shopping malls or supermarkets for instance have a hidden agenda and great effort have been put there together for specific products to have my attention.

In home environment I’ll try to arrange it so that the powerful thoughts have a lot of my attention, thus I’ve arranged life board in a visible part of my room so that I’ll get back to it often. I believe it’s from these thoughts that better life will sprout from. Making these thoughts into actions, actions into habits and habits as my character. Eventually this will become my life.

It’s our decision to choose where we focus: is it that what is right with the world, or what is wrong with the world?

Feeling the Suffering

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Sometimes they say that the smartest people feel the suffering.

Well what is smart anyway? Smarts should be the ability to come up with working solutions.

In order to solve something we should have problem and we should feel the problem completely. This might refer to the ability of empathy to everything around us.

It’s in human nature to feel the suffering somehow, that’s what makes us creative and smart at the same time. We are human, because of our ability to suffer.

Focusing to the suffering does not solve anything, however the ability to feel the suffering is the ground to start looking for solutions.

Win Your Fears Quickly

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Today I realized that when I win my fears quickly, life is awesome. Quickly means without a delay and without a delay means right now. When there is no delay there is also no time to suffer about anything.

I cannot believe how much of my life I’ve wasted over being afraid something could happen and then letting that fear cripple me – even when what I feared never very likely happened. Fearing causes world to shrink and pain inside us.

Fear is meant to keep us safe and it does that rather well. However when it is about mental dimensions of present day social life, not many of the perceived fears are not real.

In society there are also people who are ready to exploit the fear to a direction and another. From personal standpoint it is important to notice where do the fears are baseless and when there is a justified reason. If we can do this separation we are going to be alright and we shouldn’t stick with our fears too long. Winning fears quickly before they take a root is a good habit that builds up courage and joy in your life!

We Have All That We Have

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We do not have anything more than the present. We do not have our past and certainly not our future.

Suffering is created by clinging either to the past or the future.

If we go to past or the future we are distancing ourselves from the present. This in turn creates a vicious cycle of suffering, because if we are going to past or the future, we will lose present again.

All that we have is now, the present. Present includes everything. Buddha understood this very well and he also understood about the thinking and action which leads to these results.

In addition to the present, our present mindfulness or our thinking is all that we have. In fact we are not our thinking, because we can observe our thinking. Yet only few of us consciously exercise this human superpower called ‘thinking critically what we are thinking.’

We shouldn’t let our thinking taint our present experience, because present is all that we have. We should come to accept what we have and be happy with that 🙂

11 Questions to Reduce Hurry and Worry

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When you start to teach people about something, it gives you yourself more pressure to be example as well. This is mostly positive thing, because then you start deepen your relationship with the things you are teaching. Often this deepening means that you are thinking what you are teaching learning at the same time from different perspectives.

What I learned this morning about feeling of hurry is this: hurry is just lack of preparation.

This means, if we feel hurry, we have failed to anticipate the stuff we are stressing about presently.

What helps here is to accept the present circumstances and prioritize and think what is truly important, and how important. It’s through prioritization only way that we can live through our commitments and learn to make commitments that are most relevant to us.

Uncertainty makes life difficult. Or life is suffering like the Buddha came to understand.

The ability to accept these and to have a set of thinking skills in the present help to handle almost anything that happens and still live a worthwhile life.

Do not be affected by hurry.

Here are some helpful questions to cope:

  1. Do I have any problems right now?
  2. What is the most important priority right now?
  3. Am I doing my best?
  4. Is there something I or we can do?
  5. What would be the first step forward?
  6. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
  7. What is positive about this situation?
  8. Is the worst thing that can happen?
  9. Is this the end of the world?
  10. What is the upside?
  11. How to benefit from this situation?

Have a great evening!

Janne

Problems or Suffering Are Never Going to Cease

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Solving a problem leads to a multiplying amounts of tinier problems. We have the power to create happier problems.

Since problems are not going to cease, we just might pick one that is interesting and start chipping at it. If we just worthy problem, solving that just might become our purpose.

Like Schopenhauer said, our mind swings between boredom and suffering. Mind will always find a way to do one or another. I’ve found that it’s easy to suffer although things are very well. It’s unless we teach ourselves, what is real suffering and what is not, we will suffer no matter how well our life is.

Any suffering is tolerable with a right and just purpose. Our purpose may become our legacy and legacy is one form of immortality that is within our reach.

Doesn’t sound too bad does it?

 

Poem: The Change Makers

 

Ignorant we all are, I must admit.

Yet there are those who to this do not submit.

These people are the shapers,

The change makers.

 

Those who are courageous enough to seek truth.

And stand to face the oppressive Brood,

Who do not care where the truth stood,

Or what was for everyone’s good!

 

People like Mandela and Gandhi,

Have become such examples, how handy!

Equipped with truth, love, and courage,

Have built their wisdom and virtue while pulling the carriage.

 

Suffering of the wheel,

Is imaginable and real.

They made no squeal,

Because it was in their interest to heal.

 

With grace they endured,

To the inner work they spurred.

Through work they developed,

And a new kind of thinking enveloped.

 

Wrong they faced,

Pain not only grazed.

They got to taste the pain of living,

And transformed it in their minds into a giving.

 

Yet people were astray.

Not caring what they had to say.

Thus they were sent away.

Only to return; and light the way!

 

They learned to care first,

To quench another one’s thirst.

People do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care, said Teddy.

 

World is not so steady,

You better get ready,

Your ignorance is unstable,

To care you are able!

Your Happiness is Your Decision

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Any one of us can make the decision to be happy right now. We cannot choose our emotions what we are feelings, we can choose how do we respond to the emotions. And by choosing the right responses we will inevitably feel good too in the long run. This means, happiness is in our control to decide.

By making the right choices consistently happiness is inevitable. There are even shortcuts to happiness, for example gratitude, giving and positive thinking.

Human is highly social animal, so the best we can do is to be grateful of what we have and share our happiness with others.

There is enough for everybody in this world, if we think through the lens of creating. Human creativity has created the well being that exists. Human doing is also the suffering of our planet and fellow species.

It is our next actions and decisions that determine what will follow. Therefore we can be happy with what we have now, contemplate on our virtues: what are we willing to sacrifice for our future?

We get only that well being which we are able to create for the world.