Values: connection & disconnection

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For what you value, you must sacrifice.

I’ve made changes in my values in the past six months. Due to this decision I begin to experience the price, and the sacrifice in my social life: the feeling of value with some people have begun to feel less meaningful and less valuable.

I’ve found different meaning and it’s no longer in the same direction.

Decision have to be made.

Values are meaningful. Shared values help us to work toward common goal.

If perception to the previously shared values changes, then the relationship changes as well.

What I thought was very positive change for me, has caused quite a bit of suffering. Is a positive change then a desirable? Is this temporary pain worth it?

I’ve comforted myself with the thought that nothing great is born without pain.

Besides I’ve chosen to update my values because I want something better. Yet in so called short term this feels surprisingly painful.

Long term or short term perspective?

Even from pain one seeks relief. At least hope. Is there hope?

Higher levels values, create higher level order.

Lower level values create chaos.

So by embracing and determining my values again, I’ve set out to feel the suffering now in order to create something greater. Example of great people have shown that the higher level values might not even be appreciated by the present state society. Only the future generation may grow to that level of maturity to appreciate.

About such greatness I do not know nothing. All I know, that I hope I must find and to create order I must continue.


Thank you for reading!

For greater context I can recommend Jordan B. Petersons 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote Against Chaos –book. It’s a book that I’ve read three times now in the past five months. I’ve found several ideas from that book to put in the practice and I believe I continue to discover so.

Now lately I feel like I want to connect with as many people as possible, globally so therefore I’ve chosen to continue my blog in English.

Janne

Life Direction

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We have the ability to look forward, just as much we have the ability to look back or be present in the moment. Contentment of life depends quite a bit how much attention we fix on any of the states.

A year ago, I was browsing through a book of strategy at my friend’s place and there was this rough division of attention 70/20/10. 70 % in the present, 20% in the future 10% in the past. These figures have stuck with me ever since then and I think it’s rather applicable.

We feel most alive when we are doing things, and this requires us to be present most of the time and taking action.  What justifies more of the time spent on future, rather than in the past is simply that we cannot change the past, but we can create the future by taking action in the present. Therefore, it is necessary to remember a little bit more of the time what do we want to achieve and why.

Then once we have done our thing, we can sit back and reflect on what we did, how did it turn out and what did we learn from it.

Past is a place to learn and to be satisfied with the present, this line summarizes it very well: “Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now.”

Epicurus put even some more advice in to the similar thought: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

If we keep trying, it’s almost inevitable that we will succeed eventually. Our present comes therefore the utopia that we once dreamed of.

Let the Joy Be Seen and Heard

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Life is short, therefore we should live it joyfully and let the others be touched by the joy of living as well, so that we all may live happily. Joy is contagious.

I had the privilege to meet an enthusiast midwife, who told all kinds of stories from her profession. I admire and respect that profession, because they are at welcoming newborns into this world and working to make it as safe as possible. Often in such moments, one might whisper loving words into the ears of newborns and thus welcoming them to this world.

Each day should be celebrated with such love, hope and joy and soon as we can read this for example we can understand that although we shouldn’t focus blame or complain about other people not doing this, instead we should focus on instilling the joy of living into our lives and communicate that through our actions to others.

Joie de vivre, joy of living can be transferred into others through simple affirming smile or greeting for example. We can do this anywhere we go: work, bus or school for example. If you then add something positive and pleasant to the mix you will totally make someone’s day better.

Some of us cannot stand this positive talk, because they have a limiter in themselves that limits the amount of good feeling they allow themselves to feel. Gay Hendricks calls this the upper limit problem. We all have to work on our own upper limit problems, however by staying positive and happy you will certainly create more good to the environment than do bad.

You can become the example for joy of living in where ever you are at the moment. Enjoy the life you have now and let you be a positive voice and influence to the lives of many. Strengthen what is good and right in the world, if we do this, the life is unending chain of positive wishes even after it is all over 🙂

What If…

…You are capable?

…You have the energy?

…You could see things through?

…There is hope?

Be careful where you direct your attention. We often have more answers, solutions, actions and decisions within our reach than we see that there are. We could get better results by doing things differently and asking for other people to help us to do these things in better ways.

Two Hopeful Realizations

 

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  • Life is plentiful in helping, when we dare to ask for the right things. Being open and honest what I wanted a few weeks ago has resulted ever since then in increasing opportunities to grow. So even though directly I did not get exactly what I was applying for, actually my call has been heard already. So this got me thinking that life is indeed working to help and open two doors when one does close. It’s like branching tree or expanding universe.
  • History is library to build upon. Especially personal history offers so much, so using that is very constructive thinking.

Two Types of Hope

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The essence of human life, seems to be the hope of a better life. When we lose that hope of things getting better, we depress and stop working towards the better life.

Sometimes the fantasy of better life can be found outside i.e. good example would be when the Gold rushes, or the Spanish who looked for Eldorado…

In modern day world, refugees escaping warzones with all they have to the places they know very little: Europe.

I just finished watching three hour documentary series called Exodus: Our Journey to Europe. It showcases very well on how little information and so much belief we people operate. Especially the refugees escaping war, oppression and famine do have my sympathies. I think these people should be helped directly as soon as possible. Preferably I would prefer diplomatic solution that stabilizes the areas. Fighting is never the solution.

“There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for” – Albert Camus

Stability is the beginning, we need to feel safe. We also require some sort of social structure, because without it people are not feeling safe to invest the time there and they are instead spending the time to escape the poverty to somewhere else.

From the documentary I also understand that the Europe or some countries in the Europe are talked as very mythical fantasies. Which is probably right in that sense.

Question I want to ask here is thought, why are families willing to put their hard earned money and their sons life to the hands of smugglers in order to get a better life? The whole family could do a lot with that kind of money (thousands of euros) to study, work etc. in their own country. But they do not want to invest to that, instead they see the son getting to Europe as a fatter chance, even despite the big risks.

That is the thing I want to point out: if the country is safe, and the structures are in place, there is hope and willingness to keep investing into it, instead of gambling the money and lives to smugglers, who are then being greedy and taking even greater risks at the cost of human lives.

For us humans, there are two strong forces: hope and depression. While the refugees coming to Europe to seek asylum is hope based, which is good and which I think they should be helped for sure. However, the most lasting form of hope is that which allows us to build cities nations and human kind, and to that I believe we should be first and foremost invest into.

In our nature it should be to do the right thing. Right thing is the path of courage, love and forgiveness. Those are the virtues and qualities we need to cultivate in ourselves.

Blinding hope

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Having been born and raised in protestant country with protestant church values (although my parents were not that religious at all), has had the effect on me that I’ve always until now considered hope a very positive driving force: the promise of the better.

That is until this morning, I was reading a book Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh where he does provide another point of view. That hope could be the clinging for tomorrow, although today as well is perfect day to live.

Essentially Thich Nhat Hanh just points out that we can choose the happiness in the present moment as well as in the future. I don’t think he has anything against hope, it just that he reminds that we can choose also differently in present moment as well.

Hope is just alike a sun if we stare too much at it, we forget all the beautiful things we’ve around us in the present moment.

Words are magic that create stories, beliefs and co-operation

 

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Trust and belief are the forces that make the world go around, but what are some of the forces behind that?

One of the biggest beliefs of mankind that currently governs the world is the concept of money, which Harari Yuval Noah calls in the Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind book (2011, 180) “the most universal and most efficient system of mutual trust ever devised.”

There is limited amount of trust without the hope. Hope is constructed through story telling. Napoloen observed that “a leader is a dealer in hope.”

Leader is in fact storyteller, who makes people believe in something that does not exist in the first place. In this sense as J.K. Rowling wrote, words are magic. Magic that make something out of nothing. J.R.R. Tolkien was in the same lines wrote, “A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.”

Leaders create believable stories and without which it’s unlikely to be able to organize any kind of collective effort. By creating vision, leader deals hope of the better tomorrow.

“It is impossible to organize an army solely by coercion. At least some of the commanders and soldiers must truly believe in something, be it God, honour, motherland, manhood or money.” – Harari Yuval Noah (2011, 112)

On the other hand, people can stop believing these stories any time which can cause collapse of the system.

Tom Asarcker (2013, 53) explains that “what we believe is what we desire, and what we desire is ultimately what we do.” So as long as the that which we desire is attainable through the belief it’s less unlikely that we are going to give up the particular belief and that’s exactly why money is belief of a choice, because it can grant us many other things we desire.

Great leaders therefore learn to understand people, their desires and beliefs and shape the story accordingly.

We all have this power, let’s use it for good by putting positive spin to the stories.

Sources

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind. 2011. Harari Yuval Noah

In The Business of Belief:  How the World’s Best Marketers, Designers, Salespeople, Coaches, Fundraisers, Educators, Entrepreneurs and Other Leaders Get Us to Believe. 2013. Tom Asarcker

Secret Ingredient to Life

Img credits: TheCulinaryGeek from Chicago, USA. CC BY 2.0
Img credits: TheCulinaryGeek from Chicago, USA. CC BY 2.0

No, it’s not ice-cream.

Life is a funny thing: when we do not give up, we get what we want. Harder than that might be to find what you want, however while looking, you can do it with a special ingredient called attitude. Winston Churchill puts it well “attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference”.

It’s the little thing that makes you persist and learn things you thought at first that were impossible. By having positive attitude, you actually change impossible to possible in your mind, and guess what happens then? It becomes reality! Yeah sure, life is not perfect or neither are we. Leonard Cohen says it best “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in”. No even need to be perfect, there is light and be the light with your attitude!  You’ll find and get what you want, even more than you thought was possible!

Nighty night!

Janne

P.S. there is ice-cream in the freezer.