Building Positive Momentum

blue-143734_640.jpg

When life goes well, let it be that way.

Change is such a buzzword. Change happens all the time. If you think about it in our experiences we tend to think change either as a) good b) bad.

Depending in the culture you are living in, you might have more or less bias towards action. Some cultures prefer a lot of action right away where are others are more of the ‘wait and see’ types.

There is no right or wrong.

When it comes to living a life where you feel good because of your actions, you’ll need to learn to recognize what is desirable and focus your limited actions to reinforcing that good. Often times no action is required: when things are well – let them be.

Too often we sabotage our own wellbeing.

Action is not always the best solution. Sometimes inaction is good solution too.

Do not confuse inaction with laziness, that’s a different breed. You’ll need to learn to recognize what kind of action creates waste and what kind of action creates value.

Either you need to focus on building more and more value, or find someone to who your waste is value. These both are rather good options.

You have limited time and focus. Use these limited time and focus to build something meaning, something positive and reinforce that positive momentum.

Once you’ve the positive momentum going, do not touch. Just seek to build on it. Build on every success you’ve, one brick at a time.

Values: connection & disconnection

network-3537401_640.jpg

For what you value, you must sacrifice.

I’ve made changes in my values in the past six months. Due to this decision I begin to experience the price, and the sacrifice in my social life: the feeling of value with some people have begun to feel less meaningful and less valuable.

I’ve found different meaning and it’s no longer in the same direction.

Decision have to be made.

Values are meaningful. Shared values help us to work toward common goal.

If perception to the previously shared values changes, then the relationship changes as well.

What I thought was very positive change for me, has caused quite a bit of suffering. Is a positive change then a desirable? Is this temporary pain worth it?

I’ve comforted myself with the thought that nothing great is born without pain.

Besides I’ve chosen to update my values because I want something better. Yet in so called short term this feels surprisingly painful.

Long term or short term perspective?

Even from pain one seeks relief. At least hope. Is there hope?

Higher levels values, create higher level order.

Lower level values create chaos.

So by embracing and determining my values again, I’ve set out to feel the suffering now in order to create something greater. Example of great people have shown that the higher level values might not even be appreciated by the present state society. Only the future generation may grow to that level of maturity to appreciate.

About such greatness I do not know nothing. All I know, that I hope I must find and to create order I must continue.


Thank you for reading!

For greater context I can recommend Jordan B. Petersons 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote Against Chaos –book. It’s a book that I’ve read three times now in the past five months. I’ve found several ideas from that book to put in the practice and I believe I continue to discover so.

Now lately I feel like I want to connect with as many people as possible, globally so therefore I’ve chosen to continue my blog in English.

Janne

Be the Awesome Person Who You Would Like to Know

half-dome-918596_640.jpg

Have you heard the adage that you are the average of five people you spend most time with?

Aren’t you with yourself first and foremost, so shouldn’t you include yourself there, what kind of person are you for those people?

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

First relationship that comes, is the relationship with ourselves. We have to start with ourselves: we have to define our what it means to be awesome for ourselves and for others.

There is the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. Keyword there is the treating, it’s a verb that requires action. We are defined by our actions, we become what we do.

Change then means taking more virtuous actions than before. Define what do you value and take action, make the values as verbs, as virtues.

Personally I’ve defined seven values from which I think the truth, love and courage are in the core. The other four: aspiration, responsibility, gratitude and humility are fine tuning for what kind of person I really want to be.

Value Virtue (value in action)
Love Kindness, compassion, metta, forgiveness, mercy
Aspiration Excellence, purpose, openness, curiosity, courage
Responsibility Sustainability, effort, courage
Courage Positive action despite of fear, growth, rightfulness, effort
Truth Seeing the world as it is, open mind and learning.
Gratitude Awareness, meditation, metta
Humility Service, gratitude

 

In the right column there are thoughts, what the value would look like as action. I’ve done this table two years ago. As an advice it could be helpful to write even specific examples such as:

  • Gratitude: give one written positive feedback a day.
  • Love: apologize if you notice yourself swearing and make yourself socially accountable so you could use kinder words in the future.
  • Truth: when you catch yourself exaggerating, stop, apologize and correct yourself immediately.
  • Responsibility & courage: when you see opportunity to take responsibility take action despite your fears and worries.
    • Example how I applied this on yesterday was in a rather small restaurant where there wasn’t any table for four. Waiter was young man whose solution to find the table was rather burdensome for the whole restaurant (to move the tables in tiny space). I quickly figured out a couple better solutions, from which the best in my judgement was to ask a other customer who had just before ordered to move to a smaller table. I did this this as kindly as I could and he did it gladly.

Fears and social behavior is contagious, therefore it is important to notice the that when do you need to rise above the surroundings and take the initiative.

Personal growth is all about initiative to do things differently.

Now take a moment to write down your values and write next to it how you could apply it as a virtue. Make at least one action for each virtue. You may add more actions to this list as you live on more days and weeks. By continuous practice of values and virtues, you will become the awesome person that you would like to know.

You are awesome!

Janne

Defenses are Cues for Growth

cactus-2643512_640.jpg

Mind has a tendency to construct a model of reality, which is largely just a crude representation of reality at it’s best. It’s this reality that we are all living in. We are living a lie narrated by our minds.

When mind gets confronted by something that threatens the reality, defense mechanisms kick in. First defense mechanism is denial. In fact for information we learn for the first time we outright dismiss, it has never happened to us before. Often to get even our attention, new things require repetition.

There are exception, in familiar and safe environments any changes in the environment gets right away our attention.

There seems to be a kind of filter of expectation. Our minds is at peace when everything goes as expected. Like a radio channel which plays the sort of music you are expecting. If something does not work as expected, your mind wakes up and starts to react.

We do not necessarily notice new elements in familiar kind of pop song only until much later on. This happens all the time. Our minds get enough of the familiar, so we do not even pay attention to the slight changes that have happened.

All this is natural and automatic. Consciously we can become aware and mindful about these and at key moments take a moment to consider what is going on. This is especially good practice when you notice defenses.

15 Common Defense Mechanisms is good place to start identifying which of these do you use most often and then to start practicing the more mature responses in situations.

Love is Actions; Action from Where We Learn is Growth

trees-3464777_640.jpg

Interesting and great things in life call for action, also known as work and love of that work. It’s everything from what we do, to who with we do.

Why to love?

Love is life itself, abundant, going against the law of entropy. Love takes energy, we have to give our all. However, energy what we have during our life will only increase during our lives through the action and work of loving the work and people in our life.

Energy consumed just changes form.

Once we use our energy, we build up the capacity for the energy.

The more of the energy we will use, the higher capacity for energy we will develop. In other words the more we love, the higher capacity to love we will develop.

And if we keep an open mind, we keep on learning from our endeavors we will grow. And as we will grow, we have more and more opportunities to teach others and share the love.

In this way the ideas get to ever larger audience, or reach even better those who really need it. Love and growth are deeply interconnected forces that create order and structure to life. They are what makes life exciting adventure.

With nature of love and growth are the obstacles, the entropy. Entropy is all around us. Even in us the entropy takes places. The can only retain so much of what we have learned. We are limited.

As limited we may be, but we need to consciously keep increasing our capacity to love (which equals action, which requires energy). We need to consciously put our energy to use every day for others, for ourselves.

Life rewards those who strive and in the end we all will die, and who knows what the universe has in store for us. May our atoms (and all the smaller bits) serve the universe well.

What Lessons Do You Remember?

hands-2667461_640.jpg

Mostly about getting “something else” than what we have now, comes from doing things differently. Most likely we would like to do things in wiser manner.

To do things in smarter way requires remembering what has been tried so far, what worked, what didn’t. Actually it does not only require remembering, it requires understanding.

Remembering is a good place to start thought. What do you remember?

Do you remember the lessons that you have learned?

Do you remember the lessons that others have learned?

Definition of history comes from Greek historia, meaning “knowledge acquired by investigation.” Let’s not let this go to waste 🙂

From Hesitation to Hell Yes

kyoto-1976538_640.jpg

I pondered why I am hesitating in some areas of life. In life I’ve followed the advice Jari Sarasvuo gave during Trainers’ House Growth Academy about prioritization: If it’s hell yes, then do it. If it’s anything less do not.

In order to recognize a hell yes, we need to recognize it from no and regular yes. Hell yes is based on deeper understanding what you want and why do you want it.

Hell yes is difficult to get to in some areas, such as relationships. How do we know a hell yes? And how can we be sure?

At times, it is our thinking that is flawed. Sometimes what we need isn’t at all the thing we want.

It may take to change our understanding before we get to a hell yes.

Happy Change Making

world-1582347_640.jpg

Why to change? Life needs to change in order to stay relevant, alive.

Let’s take living fossils as an example: they are either very efficient at what they do or their ability to adapt is greater than those of their counterparts. In terms of human life, change means learning to live in new environments both environments and social.

So either we change and live or we stay the same and die. We can also change and die if we make the wrong decisions.

In my vocabulary change is mostly positive: it’s full of exciting possibilities. Change is about doing the things that haven’t been done before. Doing things that haven’t been done before requires figuring out.

On personal level when we want to do a thing we haven’t yet done, we can find out someone who has done it successfully. Or even more simply we can Google.

On collective level when we want to do things we haven’t done yet, we have the same information sources.

On both levels there are also things that haven’t been done yet by anyone. Such as travelling to Mars for example. Even on more grounded level there is so much work to be done for example taking care of our natural ecosystem Earth here and learning to live sustainably.

Growth and change are possible at the same time, we just need to figure out how! It’s mostly about solving difficult problems in co-operation with others. It’s not always easy, but it’s always rewarding to see the end results!

Happy change making!

Janne

Ignorance Everywhere

lily-624653_640.jpg

Ignorance rises every morning when we wake up.

Therefore to we must start our inner work in the morning to be mindful about this ignorance. Simplest way to become mindful about the ignorance is to take a moment to reflect what are the most important events of the day, what virtues you need there and what could go wrong.

Today I began my commute by meditating and I realized it’s good to focus on what can go wrong but also what should go right.

We can only start the journey where we are. And we do not have accurate world views. The difference between what we think we are and how the world is, can be a shock at times. Sometimes it’s not because we were wrong, it’s because something has changed and our world view hasn’’t.

Living by the truth isn’t easy, however it’s the way to live by. Ignorance cannot stand the truth.

When we shed light to our ignorance, only the true understanding remains.

As we become more mindful about our ignorance, we will gain more accurate sense of the world. Yet world is every morning different than it was when we left it as was. Something has changed.

We are all ignorant, that’s the first step to become mindful about.

Resistance is a Growth Opportunity

 

resistant-331916_640.jpg

Resistance might mean resistance to change. However, the more we feel resistance the more potential we have to grow. It does not have to be in a leap, although it could be.

It’s only through resistance and challenge that we can grow from. If there is no resistance present, then we are not in position to learn much either. Too much comfort stunts the growth.

Therefore when we notice resistance to do something, we know we have a lot of potential for growth in that area. Most of the growth in the area can come from simple acknowledgement and opening up to possibilities.

With resistance comes often denial: we start to decline opportunities. What if we would say yes instead, what’s the worst thing that can come from learning and trying something new? You are likely to learn something.

Resistance is a kind of invitation to explore and grow. Instead of locking up with resistance, be mindful and acknowledging: see it as an opportunity to grow now or in near future 🙂